As I have been growing up I have been fortunate to have a really fantastic sister. Goldie has been there to show me the ropes once Zorro and Blazer went away. She has been so tolerant with me and she makes a good chew toy.
I noticed Dad being sad yesterday and having some of those watery drops on his face. Getting rid of those was only a lick away but more came out. Did he spring a leak? I did everything I could to make him stop including a lot of lap time. I did get some great hugs but something must be up with Goldie. He went away with her in the middle of the day for a ride in the truck. She did come back and then later he gave her some pills. Don’t quite know what is going on but something just doesn’t smell right.
So what? I haven’t posted here in quite some time. I’ve been busy being a dog, not some electron worshipping humanoid. Dogs have patience. Why don’t humans?
Case in point. You have a dog. You go off to work. You need to use the bathroom several times a day. You go. Why do dogs have to wait 8 or more hours? We do we get in trouble if we can’t hold it. Can you? It is really tough watching tv while the ‘rents are off to work and hearing Gordon Ramsey say “Piss Off!” Command or rhetorical statement?
Perry Mason never says that. Neither does the Beaver.
Speaking of rodent mammals – Happy Groundhog Day to all of my 2 readers!
Other than the need for food, bathroom breaks, attention, and our own interests, we just don’t care about time. It has been over a year since I posted here. Take that you search engine optimization mutts. I don’t care.
My life is great with my family and the ability to watch Golden Retriever videos on YouTube whenever I want. I have trained my “rents” so that I generally get anything I want. Sticking a slimy tennis ball in their face at a strategic time works wonders.
Try that at work you human pups!
I never had one before. Now I have. Can I have another one tomorrow?
I got presents. Balls. Actually I personally have two of those but rumor has it that situation might be temporary. What’s up with that? What does that mean?
I got toys and Frosty Paws and then a steak. Burp!
Then there was this morning. Something was wrong with my sister. She was on the floor twitching and running and not going anywhere. I was scared. I went to help but my Rents yelled at me. Was I bad?
I think that my sister wasn’t her self and that I was supposed to stay away. That is not like me. I am an in your face kinda pup. Woof!
I would trade my gifts to make sure that my sister was OK.
Send good thoughts please.
Uncle Michael – Happy Birthday!
I know that you couldn’t have gotten a present as great as me, but keep wishing!
I am tired. Yesterday I experienced what my parents call a cookout. They loved it, but I hated it. Well, honestly I hated just one part of it. No scraps!
Why is it that humans are so darn selfish? I was right there all day just trying to help take care of some of that extra food. Notta! I hate the saying “it’s for your own good.”. What does that mean? Is the food poisoned or something? Does it taste bad? If so, why are you serving it and eating it yourselves? When I grow up, I will judge for myself. Drastic action might be required.
I met “Aunt Janie” and Kate, and Michael, and Jo, and Richard and Michelle( I remembered Richard & Michelle – they came back YEAH! Must have been my charm.) yesterday. Boy was that great! A little person – Kate – that liked to run outside just as much as I do. Happy dance. Kate seemed to like my toys as much as I do. But she was much better in the sharing department than I am. She is a little older than I am, so maybe I will learn.
We got off to a little rocky start. She wasn’t too sure about me. But I put on my charm and won her heart by the end of the day. Hold your applause till the end you silly humans and bots.
We went outside she picked blackberries. I brought her an apple and tried to put it in her mouth but she wasn’t real happy with that. Maybe humans learn to seek and retrieve later in life. I see that Mom is still trying to train Dad to retrieve things around the house. Who knows, maybe he is a slow learner.
I hope that Kate finds a way to come back and visit again. I really liked her. She smiled, laughed, and thought that I was great. Well, I think that she did.
Kate: When I see you again you will be bigger and I will be better behaved, but I will still have a big sloppy kiss waiting.
Everyone is welcome back! I know my ‘Rents had a great time as well as Goldie and I!
I just realized that Dad hasn’t let me use the computer in more than a couple months. What’s up with that? Anyway, I am still around and learning about the world. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to.
Why does the weather change, and why is my outside time regulated by the weather? I am a water dog after all! Just because you adult humans don’t want water on your heads don’t think that it bothers me. I am fearless. Thunderstorms? Who cares. Well maybe humans do.
I have been working on my education. Retrieving and toy recognition. My balls are named Penn. I have no idea why. Dad says it is a movie thing. He can be strange sometimes. My wooden toys I pick up in the yard are called Sticks. Sticks stay outside and I have to drop them at the door, but Penn and his cousins can come inside. What did Sticks do to piss off my Mom and Dad?
Related to the human confusion factor, why is it ok to romp on the bed when it is light outside but not when it is dark and my Rents are there to appreciate it? Weird! It is OK for them to put food in my bowl, but not OK for me to serve myself? Get a grip! I was just trying to reduce the workload you RENTS!
Sprinklers are interesting. All different shapes and sizes. But they spray water at me. Attack Mode! I have tried to chomp on the stuff that they shoot at me, but all I get is water. Don’t quite understand. What did I ever do to deserve these attacks? Water needs to get a backbone like Sticks have. If I am mad at Penn I can at least rip his fur off. Water just makes me gag. What is up with that?
Oh well, got to go. Remember humans that you are not necessarily the most intelligent creatures on this planet. You go off to work and I sleep all day. You then pamper me and feed me. I sleep on your pillow and your feet extend out past the end of the bed. I can get attention anytime I want – how about you?
What is wrong with you two-legged creatures? You wait for certain days of the year to do special things for each other. And then you do things without really thinking.
What’s up with that? It doesn’t have to be that way.
Case in point. I helped do something for a very special lady who lives far away. Dad had been working on this for quite some time and didn’t know what to do. He had been empowered (what?) by some others to do something special for this person and was lost.
Hint: Dogs don’t get lost – we explore our surroundings. We pay attention. I hope you guys now are trying to imitate ME!
Dad has had a whole bunch of blue boxes hanging around and had sent picts of me doing my thing on top of them. STOP IT! Not that kind of thing! Geesh! Get your minds out of the cat box. Anyway, I had heard that this lady liked the boxes, so I used my nose to hide one. Then I remembered that she liked chocolate – YUCK!
One plus one equals 8,000 tail wags, so why wouldn’t she be happy. So, last week I pushed the box out and pulled the papers off the desk and somehow the recipes appeared.
I have heard that the average human spends less than 10 seconds on a web page, so by my math only one person on the web is reading this now. That is all the audience I want. But I want you that one current reader to want to understand and want to do something special for someone else. Get it?
Stop waiting for a date. Live life like we dogs do – RIGHT NOW!
That special lady got something that she deserved. Mom and Dad are smiling. I have shown my superiority – AGAIN!
To that special lady out there I offer this: You got because you give so much more everyday. I have seen my Rents try to wag their tails. I know how to really wag mine. I sense you are wagging yours.
YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!
Me on April 2, 2011
As you can tell, I am not that little cute pup anymore. NOPE! Now I am adorable, or deplorable as my Rents tell me in the middle of the night.
That seems to have something to do with my desire to play with my sister at approximately the same geographical location as the pillows on the bed. I don’t know what the big deal is. Mom and Dad have their heads on the pillows to protect them. I won’t hurt the pillows!
Spring is in the air and with that comes SMELLS! They are everywhere. I am addicted to smells. Gotta go out every five minutes and get new ones. I haven’t figured out where they go after I collect them, but collect them I do. They do take up less room than a stamp collection though. Speaking about stamp collections, will they become more valuable now that everyone sends emails? An inquisitive dog has the right to know.
Things are quieter here. All those blue boxes are gone. No more bubble wrap and cardboard boxes. It was fun while it lasted. Walking and jumping on bubble wrap makes fun noises.
Dad says that I am defective. He claims that I don’t have any brakes. Just because I believe that life, and everything else should be experienced at full speed doesn’t mean that I am defective. Does it?
My Favorite Outdoor Toy
Mom brought home a toy for me the other day that didn’t have any filling in it. What’s up with that? If you are going to get me a toy, and as part of my developmental program I am expected to learn how to take things apart, then why leave out the best part? And if I would have been able to systematically remove all of the toys innards, why shouldn’t I leave the parts all over the house to prove my success?
Humans are so hard to understand!
Sorry for not writing for a while. I’ve been busy growing and helping Dad pack boxes for people all over the world. Mom is glad to see them go. I did learn about bubble wrap though. Hopefully you will able to see a little video of me here soon. Just for my fans!
A link to my video for right now: Fun in the Kitchen